Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Subtle Pattern Mixing

Jacket:  Soia & Kyo;  Skirt:  Vintage;  Tights:  Target;  Booties:  Seychelles
Jacket:  Soia & Kyo;  Skirt:  Vintage;  Tights:  Target;  Booties:  Seychelles


This is how I mix patterns without being all in your face about it. Dots, meet plaid. Plaid, meet dots. I absolutely dig this skirt: it's a short little vintage number that can be dressed up or down. I really had to fight myself to keep from wearing it with a band tee and leather. That would just be too expected. And we can't have that now, can we?

I wanted to thank y'all for being so mature in your comments on the last post. Whether you agree or disagree with my views doesn't matter: it's the fact that you're acceptant of them that really gets my jollies on. Judgement is ugly. I'd like to respond to each comment individually, but I haven't exactly figured out a good way to do that yet. So just know that your thoughts are appreciated!

We're gearing up for a snowstorm, which has absolutely sucked out all of my energy and replaced it with cravings for hot chocolate and carbs. Lots and lots of carbs.

Jacket: Soia & Kyo
Skirt: Vintage
Tights: Target
Booties: Seychelles

Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Morning After

Top:  UO;  Earrings:  Anthropologie;  Jeans:  Express;  Booties:  Seychelles
Top:  UO;  Earrings:  Anthropologie;  Jeans:  Express;  Booties:  Seychelles


Went to a wedding yesterday. I'm not much of a wedding person. I'm a cynic, I'm a feminist, and I'm pretty goddamn unholy to boot. In my opinion, there's not much to celebrate about an adult woman confidently declaring to be "obedient" and to "submit" herself to her groom as "head of household." Fuck man, I don't know about you, but the only thing I'm going to submit myself to is that piece of chocolate cake in the fridge. And, I'm a little iffy on the whole marriage thing, anyway. A thousand dollar diamond may make me a happy lady, but throwing one on isn't going to magically shield me from the temptations of infidelity if I'm already a piece of shit to begin with. So, I guess marriage is fine for other people, if that's what makes them happy. But I, for one, can be committed and loving and "faithful" without the fancy ceremony and expensive symbolism.

So, anyway, this is the fabulous outfit I wore to go eat a continental breakfast of sausage patties and biscuits in the hotel lobby. The shirt is new and I absolutely love it. You'd love it too, if you could actually see it properly. Oops. Oh well, I'm sure I'll be wearing it again soon...

In other news, I got my hair did on Saturday and it looks the same as before. Granted, I basically asked for the same thing as before, but there's nothing worse than spending $$$ at the salon to come out looking the same as you did when you went in. I just can't decide if I want to chop it off or grow it out...

And in other other news, it needs to be spring. Now.

How was your weekend?

Top: UO
Earrings: Anthropologie
Jeans: Express
Booties: Seychelles

Friday, February 24, 2012

Birthday Wishlist 2012

J. Crew Panama HatTopshop Sleeveless Belted TopNordstrom Metal Bar NecklaceForever 21 Vertical Striped SkirtFossil Rose Gold WatchMadewell ClutchMadewell Maxi SkirtSeychelles SandalsFree People Hair ClipZara Lace Tulip DressNordstrom Floral Cut-Out BeltTopshop ShirtdressAnthropologie Floral PantsSeychelles BootiesRuche Button-Back Lace TopFossil Double Twist Belt


My 22nd birthday is a mere 11 days away. Some years, I go crazy with the wish-listing. Other years, I'm lazy and just let people wing it. This year, it was more of the former. Lately, I've been shopping like Rebecca Bloomwood on crack (there is an upcoming post to confirm this statement), so I had no problem spending hours in front of a computer screen sifting through websites and adding not one, but 30-some lust-worthy items to my wishlist. This is just a sampling of items! If you are so inclined, here's the official list. I'm fresh out of sugar daddies so I'll be lucky if I get even a few things off this list, but still. I'm holding out for the Botkier bag.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Heeeeeeere's Winter!

Jacket:  Michael by Michael Kors; Scarf:  Gap;  Skirt:  ASOS; Bag:  Fossil; Shoes:  Urban Outfitters
Jacket:  Michael by Michael Kors; Scarf:  Gap;  Skirt:  ASOS; Bag:  Fossil; Shoes:  Urban Outfitters
Jacket:  Michael by Michael Kors; Scarf:  Gap;  Skirt:  ASOS; Bag:  Fossil; Shoes:  Urban Outfitters
Jacket:  Michael by Michael Kors; Scarf:  Gap;  Skirt:  ASOS; Bag:  Fossil; Shoes:  Urban Outfitters


We finally got a substantial amount of snow fall--well, about 4 inches, so not quite--but, because I, 5'2" blogger extraordinaire, got behind the wheel of a 10,000 lb diesel truck with a snow plow on the end of it and took care of business, you can't even see it in the pictures. All you can see is a beautiful, clear driveway à la THIS GIRL. Yup. I'm an asshole.

Anyway, the snow surprisingly inspired me, which is weird, because I hate snow. But not anymore, apparently. Which is good, because I hear we're supposed to get a butt ton more of it over the weekend. Which kind of sucks. Where am I going with this? I'm not exactly sure. Isn't my bag pretty?

Jacket: Michael by Michael Kors
Scarf: Gap
Skirt: ASOS
Bag: Fossil
Shoes: Urban Outfitters

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Fat Elvis Stage

Fat Elvis Stage


I have entered what I like to refer to as my "Fat Elvis stage" (except there's no divorce or barbiturates). I'm lazy. I'm uninspired. I'm pudgy. I'm in need of a hair cut. I really do attribute it to the time of year. I'm tired of the winter scenery. I want to see mountains again, Gandalf! Not this dead of winter shit. But I am in the process of finalizing my trip to Arizona at the end of March, so that's something. And I just bought a new romper, so there's another.

I have a plan: I'm going to spend all day tomorrow and the weekend doing homework. Nuttin'. But. Homework. And because I'm going to do nuttin' but homework, I'm going to get ahead in my class. And then, next week and the week after, I'll be doing nuttin' but having fun, because all of my homework will already be done. Genius, right? That's what I thought.

Shirt: Old Navy
Bag: Fossil
Shoes: Minnetonka

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Green with Envy...over Green

Sweater:  Madewell; Pants:  J. Crew; Scarf:  Zara; Shoes:  'Desirred' by Steve Madden
Sweater:  Madewell; Pants:  J. Crew; Scarf:  Zara; Shoes:  'Desirred' by Steve Madden
Sweater:  Madewell; Pants:  J. Crew; Scarf:  Zara; Shoes:  'Desirred' by Steve Madden


This is my new Zara scarf. It's green and is cashmere (I guess) (don't worry, guys, it was on clearance). It's warm and it's cuddly and it's a color--but it's not an obnoxious color. IT'S JUST RIGHT. People keep saying green can be a neutral and I agree. Can you think of one color it doesn't go with? Exactly. I think it might be one of my most favorite colors to wear.

Fuck. Did I really just write nearly an entire paragraph about how much I love green? I think so.

Not much new has been happening around here. School has been kicking my ass, and my time management sux. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I don't work, and it's supposed to be like, negative a bajillion degrees outside, so I won't feel obligated to leave the house. So I'm just going to get caught up with everything. Including your blogs. And maybe those toilets that I'm supposed to be scrubbing. I'm pretty sure they haven't been done in a while. I can bake a mean cookie, but that's about it for my domestic capabilities.

Sweater: Madewell
Pants: J. Crew
Scarf: Zara
Shoes: "Desirred" by Steve Madden

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

And Hearts






It's weird to see cynical, douchebaggy me in such a sickening sweet outfit. It kind of makes me want to vomit into a corner a little bit. I'm wearing red and pink and hearts and blegh! That was me, throwing up. Mmm, oatmeal cookies...

But remember what I've been saying about trying new things in 2012? IT'S STILL HAPPENING. And hey, it's not like I'm just wearing red and pink and hearts for no reason. Valentine's Day is coming up, remember?

So, anyway, I'm back! I didn't actually plan to be away, but I got overwhelmed with everything, and when I get overwhelmed, I tend to shut down for a while. The surgery went great--thanks for your concern!--and, after a week-long hospital stay, she's recovering at home, unable to do much of anything besides eat pain pills and say a bunch of weird shit people say when they're on so many drugs even Courtney Love would be jealous. Seriously? Okay...

Stuff My Mom Says On Narcotics:

  1. "Last night, I watched CSI and Bowl of Apples...I mean, Wheel of Fortune."
  2. "Stop running away from the penguins. They just want to hug you!"
  3. "Did I tell you about the big hulking black guy who used my room as an office yesterday? No, because it never happened. Superstar!"
  4. "Get these dinosaur boogers off of me! ...What did I just say?"

And many, many more. Oh yes, it's been a real treat. But she's okay and that's the main thing, so it's a good day.

Blouse: Vintage
Shorts: American Eagle
Shoes: Dolce Vita

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Wu is Me: Jason Wu for Target

Right off the bat, I knew Jason Wu for Target wouldn't be as big and epic as Missoni was. It's a smaller collection by a smaller, lesser-known designer. There really aren't any must-have items, like the coveted Missoni throws of yesteryear. That being said, I really wanted that goddamn cat scarf, so I set aside Sunday morning for kicking some Target ass.

This time, I had a game plan. While Jason Wu is a lesser-known name--especially when you live in the backwoods, like moi--I knew my Target was the only store in the region to be carrying pieces from the collection. So instead of just dealing with bitches from the area, I could potentially be competing with die-hards from all across northern Minnesota, along with anyone who had heard about the Missoni/Ebay crazy-town last year and thought maybe they could cash in on Jason Wu this time around (hey, I understand. Times are tough. You're still an asshole, but I understand). So I got up early and got ready. I even brushed my teeth this time and ate breakfast.


See? All gone! (That was oatmeal, by the way, not cement and drier lint like it appears to be.)


With that, I was off to my local Target store. I didn't drive fast because I didn't necessarily want to be the nutcase who got to Target at 7:59 a.m. when they open at 8:00. I do have some dignity, thank you. The drive was pretty uneventful, so I decided to take pictures of myself on the way, because that's an absolutely safe thing to do.


TEITM endorses keeping your eyes on the road.


Shortly, I had travelled from my humble abode in rural America to my local Target store. I approached it from behind, stalking it like a tiger stalks its prey.


Or like an Ashley stalks its budget designer collections. Whatever.


It was at this time I felt my nerves begin to kick in. I got a little sweaty, gripped the wheel a bit tighter, and wanted to poop. I rounded the corner and did not like what I saw.


Cars. Lots and lots of cars.


There were a lot in the parking lot, which kind of threw me off. It's 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Shouldn't everyone be sleeping? Eating breakfast? At church? Something? Apparently not.


For the record, I officially arrived at approximately 8:03 a.m. (It's true. My clock is five minutes fast and I have no idea how to fix it.)


The walk into the store felt like it took an eternity. I power-walked, which is what you do when you really, really want to break out into a sprint but don't want others to think you're crazy, even though power-walking across a parking lot probably looks just as stupid. But it worked because I beat out everyone else heading into the store.

When I reached the clothing display, there were already some girls there, so I got grabby and nabbed the pieces I wanted. I still hadn't found the scarf yet, so I prowled around the accessory department for about five minutes until I finally found the (tiny) display. There was only one left, so I grabbed it, along with a clutch that I'm not sure I really like but felt obligated to pick up. You know how it goes.



THE END.


No, seriously. That was it. I made my way to the front of the store, paid, and left. And then I carried on with my day. But not before taking a photo with my most prized find.


Just think of all the really obnoxious photos I'd take if I hunted.


In my (humble) opinion: the fit of the clothing is better than Missoni's, and I think a wider variety of people are drawn to the style (as opposed to that godforsaken zig-zag bullcrap). The colors are nice and perfect for spring. My favorite item, by far, is the sleeveless dress (see below). Despite what others have said, I find the pieces to be relatively true to size. The t-shirts run a little large, however (I got a small in the cat t-shirt and I really, REALLY need an extra small). I also am not a big fan of the HUGE ASS Target logo on the scarf: see here. That was a low blow, Target. A low blow. I'm going to have to vastly improve upon my scarf-tying skillz to make it work.

I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to lurk amongst the towels like last time.

The rest of the pieces I got:
Jason Wu for Target Straw Clutch Jason Wu for Target Blouse with Tie in Blush Dots
Jason Wu for Target Sleeveless Pleated Shift Dress in Blush Stripes Jason Wu for Target Short Sleeve Tee with Cat Print in Cream


P.S. Thank you all for the concern about my momma. The surgery went fine. Details later!