Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Orange You Glad I'm So Witty?





Yes, I realize it is November 29. Yes, I realize I am dressed like it's Halloween. But you know what? I don't see any snow out there, so that means it's perfectly acceptable to keep on with the autumn attire. Oh, and just so you know: I also realize that I wear these shoes and this clutch more than I probably should, but I love them, and they love me, so leave your judgement at the front door.

People here are complaining about the lack of snow. Last year, we had over 25" of snowfall in the month of November. This year, we've had 2", and it's already melted. So you get the whiners. "I sure do hope we get some snow this year! It's almost December!" You live in northern Minnesota. Trust me. You will get snow. "What if we don't have snow for Christmas?!" Christmas is almost a month away. You live in northern Minnesota. You will have snow for Christmas. "I'm ready for the snow! It needs to start getting colder here!" You live in northern Minnesota. The temperature probably won't exceed 5°F the whole month of January, and then you'll be bitching about how you're sick of freezing your ass off. So MNers, kindly STFU about the lack of snow. It will be here soon enough.

I'm still waiting for my Black Friday/Cyber Monday goodies to arrive. I might even dedicate a whole post to my purchases, because I am a sucker.

Top: Cheap Monday
Trousers: UO
Shoes: Steve Madden
Clutch: Fossil
Earrings: Vintage

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Familiar Favorites



Remember this skirt? It's the one I wore like nobody's business last spring, like here and here. I think I wore it so much I got tired of it and so I didn't touch it all summer or autumn, but now it's back to let you know it can really shake 'em down. Likewise, I love me this sweater shirt, too, as seen here and here. I'm proud of myself because I finally figured out how to wear it without a belt. Good girl.

How did everyone's Black Friday go? I did have to work all day, but we don't exactly do what one would consider a hoppin' business, so fortunately (or unfortunately for my bank account), I was able to spend a good portion of my work day focused on online shopping. I did minimal damage, though. I ordered through four different websites and managed to spend under $300 total. Two dresses, a skirt, a pair of sequin shorts, a jacket, a scarf, a bra that supposedly will give me size F tits, and some goodies from The Body Shop. A fulfilling shopping day, I'll say.

And I'm still pimping out the Black Friday sale at my shop. So go. Right meow.

Top: Forever 21
Skirt: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: Steve Madden
Necklace & Wallet: Fossil

Friday, November 25, 2011

TVP Black Friday - Cyber Monday Extravaganza!



Click here or the image above to go! I've been adding lots of new items lately, so be sure to have a peek!

(Just pimpin'. I hope everyone is having a fabulous shopping day/resting day/12-hour work day because they have a job in retail just like me. I'M NOT BITTER, I LOVE MONEY. YEAAAAAAH.)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Comfy Cozy Are We





I wore this outfit a few weeks ago when I stayed at home and made bread all day (yes, I really am THAT behind on my posts). Not bad, considering it's tempting to just sit around in your skivvies all day if you don't have anywhere to go. See, I actually managed to put on pants and a beret. Where's my gold star?

Like the sweater in my last post, pieces stolen from my momma's closet are making an appearance once again. Her closet is a mecca for finding big, comfy PMS-y things. I pulled out this sweater and then decided I needed a comfy shirt to go with it, so I stole the checkered button-up, too. And I didn't return it. She still hasn't noticed. Hehehehehe.

I'm actually not minding the fact that winter is on its way. Just thought I'd share that. I did have a strong desire to go swimming yesterday, though, which was pretty inconvenient.

Beret: Forever 21
Boots: Steve Madden

Monday, November 21, 2011

Velveteen





I hate velvet. It reminds me of 1997 and beer guts. Don't ask. I'm not sure why, then, that I decided it would be a good idea to buy this Tulle dress last year, but alas! I did. And it's sat in my closet unworn ever since.

Until today.

Or actually a couple of days ago, since I'm always a few days behind with posting. But whatever.

Until a couple of days ago.

There.

Part of me was inspired by Annabeth, because she recently wore velvet, and neither 1997 nor beer guts crossed my mind while reading her post. So I decided that if she could do it, I could do it, and I bust the dress out and wore it. The end.

How was everyone's weekend? I did not work for the first weekend in (seriously) forever, so I actually had a real weekend. It was the bomb diggity. I like this weekend thing. I like the way most of the world lives. I did normal weekend things. I went shopping. I baked bread (in the bread machine, so it actually turned out this time). I added some items to my shop. It was a good time! I didn't, however, do any of my homework. Oops. Should probably go do that now...

In other news, do not buy Celestial Seasonings "Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride" tea. It sounds good, but it's NOT good. And now I can't get the taste out of my mouth. Blargh.

Dress: Tulle
Sweater: Stolen from my mom's closet
Scarf: J. Crew
Boots: Thrifted

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I'm in a Tailspin



I don't have much to say today. WHAT?! I know, right? I'm currently in the midst of a very hellish week as far as school goes, so that explains things. Health information management is hard, you guys. And so are my classes. It's mostly the readings that get me, as there are a TON of them, and it's that really crappy reading where you're like, "Um...um...what?" and you don't comprehend any of it, so you have to go back and read it a second time, and then you're still kind of scratching your head. So, that's what I'll be doing this week: hunching over an extra-thick textbook, highlighter in hand, getting shit done.

So excuse me if I'm a little MIA from your blogs this week. I still wuv u.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: If you like this dress, and you like me, and you'd really really like to wear something that I have worn because I'm just so awesome, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE! This dress is slightly too big for me so I'm selling it for the low, mind-boggling price of $20. That includes the dress and shipping to anywhere in the United States OR Canada! Email me if interested (or if you live somewhere else but still would like to wear something that I have worn because I'm just so awesome--I can get you a shipping quote). Act now and receive a free personalized message from yours truly!

Details: label--Forever 21, size--large (fits more like a medium), condition--I've worn it twice. 'Nuff said. Email me if you want measurements or more pictures.

Top: J.C. Penney
Belt: J. Crew
Booties: Seychelles

Sunday, November 13, 2011

A totally off-topic VLOG





Since y'all liked my last vlog, I thought I'd make another one. If you liked my off-topic ramblings the last time, then you'll love me going on and on about my baking skillz. I shot it Thursday when I had a day off from work and decided to spend the whole day baking up some love shit in the kitchen. Enjoy.

Oh, and I TRIED to be curse-free, but apparently it's impossible for me. There are no F-bombs, but there is a sprinkling of other profanities. You've been warned.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Isn't it Ironic?





God, I'm good at the death stare, aren't I?

I found this little blazer of love at a thrift store last month. I ripped the shoulder pads out because I already have huge shoulders and they weren't helping the matter any. And then do you want to know what I did?

...

...

...

I ironed.

Yes, that's right. Ashley "No Iron" Snazzy Pants ironed her goddamn blazer. And let me tell you, it was an experience. The iron in my house is from 1975, which is kind of intimidating in itself. Appliances that are nearly 40 years old scare me. Our old dishwasher was from 1975, too, and when we got it replaced last year the technician said we're lucky it didn't catch fire and burn our house down because it was so ancient. I hope they say that about me when I'm old, too. ANYWAY, I was kind of on edge when using the iron, and the smell wasn't overly pleasant. It was like, two parts burning flesh, one part Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyworld. I suppose it could have been worse. But I persevered and ironed the shit out of dem wrinkles, and look how good it looks! Okay, well you should have seen it before. Then maybe you'd be impressed.

Blazer: thrifted vintage
Top: Ruche
Skirt: UO
Shoes: Steve Madden

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

In the Buff





Hello. My name is Ashley, and not only do I have the vagina to wear leather booty shorts, I have the vagina to wear leather booty shorts in the woods in the middle of deer hunting season in November. That, my friends, is doing it the Two Eyes in the Mirror way. Even when your thighs are bigger than most and have an odd tan from last summer, keep on rockin'.

But please be responsible and look out for hunters with guns. See picture #2.

For those of you who wanted to know more about the bruise on my knee: I tripped over something on my night out for Halloween. I'm not sure what it was, and no, it was not graceful. Shitty story, I know.

Speaking of Halloween, I STILL don't have pictures of my costume. ...

Top: thrifted J. Crew
Shorts: Erin Wasson x RVCA
Socks: Kohl's
Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Girl in Boots





So, I have to tell you about the BANGIN'* good deals I'm wearing in this outfit. Socks: knitted wonders found at J. Crew for $3.50. I'm not sure how much they were originally, but I know they were at least $10, so t'was an amazing bargain. I got two pairs. Skirt: found in the sale section of the MoA Urban Outfitters for $6.99. Oh, and yeah. It's a size zero. Suck on that! I've never been a size zero in my life. Not even when I was four. I think the sizing might be a little bit off because I couldn't even get my calf in a size zero pair of jeans at the mall yesterday, but whatever. I am wearing a size zero. Thank you, Mari Winsor.

Anyway, yes, good deals abound in this post. Originally I was going to wear the bottom half of this outfit with my Motley Crue t-shirt and leather jacket, but then I tripped (literally) over this faux fur vest (a.k.a. "The Ashley") from last year and had an epiphany. There was choir music and a light show and everything, so I took it as a sign and put this on instead. Good choice, no?

In other news, check out the bad ass bruise on my knee!

* In case you did not know, this is my new signature term. It has most effect when it's written in all capital letters. It's mine, not yours, so don't steal it and rip me off, or else I'll be mad. But if you think of me lovingly every time you use it, I'll let it slide.

T-shirt: Victoria's Secret
Vest: Old Navy
Skirt: UO
Socks: J. Crew
Boots: Jeffrey Campbell

Friday, November 4, 2011

Gold Digga




I meant to blog yesterday because I had the entire day off, but I ran out of time. I started two more grad school courses on Monday and let me tell you: that shit is hard, yo. For two classes, I have a checklist of about 20 things to do. On Wednesday, I spent a little over 6 hours working on everything and was only able to cross two things off my list. So--out comes my nerdy gal* math skillz--if it takes me 3 hours to cross one thing off my list, it'll take me 60 hours to cross off all 20. Bullshit, I say. Someone's going to be doing a lot of skimming.

So anyway, yes, I was going to blog, but I didn't. So I'm blogging now. And then I'm going to job #2. And then I'm going to do more studying while I'm at job #2, because I am an awesome employee. And then I'm going to walk in circles for five minutes, pat my tummy 10 times, yell "RAWWWWWRRRRRR!" out the back door, and eat a sammich. And then I'm going to go home.

I like my new mustard colored shirt. Do you?

* If "Two Eyes in the Mirror" wasn't my blog name, I think it would be "Nerdy Gal." Like Nasty Gal, only not. Nasty gals do it better, but nerdy gals do it best.

Top & Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Pants & Bangle: J. Crew
Wallet: Fossil